In one of the most entertaining movies I’ve ever seen, The Mummy (1999), there’s a scene where the main characters are being chased by a mob. Evy is trying to translate something that will help them stop the mob and Rick asks her to PLEASE hurry it up. She simply responds without stopping what she’s doing, “Patience is a virtue.” It’s always tickled me, and sometimes I use it to respond to impatience in real life.
However you feel about virtues, patience is a useful skill. Very few things in life happen overnight, most of the time we have to wait. And the better something is, the longer we have to wait! (Not the all the time, but often.) Because of this, learning patience is downright practical. Impatience brings a great deal of unnecessary discontent upon the barer. Which isn’t to say don’t speak up or advocate for yourself when you need to, but learn to be patient too. Timing is key.
This is very much how I feel about relationships. I rarely go looking for a relationship, they seem to elude me when I do anyway. But I wait, I meet people, I do things I enjoy doing, and eventually I meet someone I want to date and sometimes they want to date me too! Sure, many of my friends are married, some married in their teens, most in their early to mid 20s. And sure, it’s tempting to compare myself to their timeline, but what’s the use in that?
My beau and his wife have been married for 12 years. They’re happy and they’ve built a life together despite challenges such as both of them being poly and very busy people. It’s hard not to envy such a amazing relationship, but then I remember that my beau was 8 years older than I am now when they met. There’s still time. Heck, as long as we’re breathing there’s still time. And surely their relationship did not come to be so awesome without hard work and–wait for it!–patience.
Truth be told, he waited for me, too. We met over a year ago, really hit it off, but I didn’t call him… I was caught up in my own junk at the time, and it took me a whole damn year to call him. But he didn’t prod me, he just waited. And eventually I came to him. If he’d pushed, I wouldn’t have. (I know this about myself from past experience.) And now… now I feel like such an idiot for not calling him sooner! But really, the timing wasn’t right then. And I almost passed this up entirely because the timing wasn’t right. What a terrible fool I would’ve been…
I can’t tell you whether it’s fate or coincidence, honestly, but sometimes life’s timing is uncanny. Sometimes you get exactly what you need at exactly the right time. And sometimes you have to wait a little while.
singlequeergrrl 