About

I’m a girl, I’m queer and I’m single.  These are some stories about my experiences being a queer, single girl in a culture that would rather you be anything but.

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In response to an odd assertion as to what this blog is about:

It’s interesting, and disappointing, to me that my blog comes across as being about “being unhappy.” It’s not.

To me, this blog is about complex co-existence. Have you ever loved AND hated someone at the same time? It’s a bizarre feeling, but it’s part of the reality of life. We often have to accept that some things co-exist, despite not reconciling with one another.

This is how I often feel about my singledom. Much of the time I am perfectly content to be single. Single, even, feels safer and more stable than pursuing a relationship. And yet, since we live in a culture that feels the need to remind us every 5 minutes that we’re not good enough all on our own, I’m regularly confronted by the fact that I’m single and that, to many, this is considered problematic. The conflict comes in when I can admit that there is a part of me that longs for companionship, but not just for the sake of not being single. So I try to talk about that conflict here.

I don’t expect it to be an interesting topic of conversation to anyone besides me. I write because writing feels fantastic and it helps me organize my thoughts. I share/blog it on the off chance that someone else finds any of this relatable. I want that person to know it’s not just him/her/zir.

I don’t hate anyone for being in a couple, I never have. What I hate is that people in couples almost never seem to know how lucky they are. This definitely gets under my skin. But I don’t hate the person/people. I definitely hate Facebook, though, and should really just stay far, far away from it.

 

3 thoughts on “About

  1. Facebook was made for bragging. It’s no good for anyone. I dislike being single because it is immediately assumed that I am missing something that well-meaning coupled people try to fix for me.

  2. OnaMission says:

    The thing with Facebook is that it’s just a presentation of our personas to the world. My conflict has been feeling like I am supposed to be a mom by now with cute babies and a house, while simultaneously feeling I should be further along in my career by now and living in a big city with more money. I wonder if it really just points out our insecurities to us in a devilish sort of way by naturally posing comparisons we’d be better off not making…. Sadly, I too have wasted so much of my life and energy on that site….far, far away indeed!

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